


heat of the moment

by PacificHeights



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, Alexander Hamilton - Freeform, Alternate Universe - 1960s, Alternate Universe - 1970s, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Angelica schuyler - Freeform, Bisexual, Bisexual Alexander Hamilton, Bisexual Eliza Schuyler, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Gay, Gay John Laurens, HIV/AIDS, Hamilsquad, Hamilton - Freeform, Hamilton: An American Musical - Freeform, Hamliza, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, John Laurens - Freeform, Lams - Freeform, Lesbian, Lesbians, M/M, Maria Reynolds is Maria Lewis, Marliza, Minor Alexander Hamilton/Elizabeth "Eliza" Schuyler, Multi, Poly, Polyamory, Polygamy, Recreational Drug Use, Revolutionary Set, Song: Heat of the Moment (Asia), There's some gay shit, This is for a challenge, Wow, actually maria lewis, elams, elizabeth schuyler - Freeform, elizabeth schuyler/maria reynolds - Freeform, homophobic language but it fits the time period so i mean, john/eliza/alex, maria lewis - Freeform, mostly lesbians, uh, we love the lesbians, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-05-29 14:56:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15075578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PacificHeights/pseuds/PacificHeights
Summary: December, 1965Finals are over, The Beatles are playing on the radio, everyone is dancing - Eliza is having a good time.Enter: MariaHow could someone she had never met before unhinge her life in a single day?-marliza fanfic set from 1965 - 1982.  watch their relationship develop.-(written for the 80sJamsChallenge on Hamino)(please don't read this yet it is unedited and a terrible terrible thing I'm just posting to share the link with the group)





	heat of the moment

_ “ _ _ Do you remember when we used to dance? _

_ And incident arose from circumstance _

_ One thing lead to another, we were young _

_ And we would scream together songs unsung” _

__ \- Heat of the Moment, Asia _ _

 

 

**December, 1965**

 

Eliza held her drink high above her head as she attempted to navigate her way through the sea of people, the danger of being knocked into and getting the contents of her cup spilled on her a valid concern. It was as if the room had turned into a pool of elbows as her drunken peers danced and moved to the music - the Beatles were what currently vibrated the air through the rooms of the two story house. Eliza stumbled over her feet as she tried to find her way to the other side of the room, lurching past John Laurens - all five foot nine of him. He chuckled, a crooked grin on his face, and rested his hand on her shoulder. 

 

“Great party, right?” He could barely be heard over the near deafening roar of the mixture of music and people.

 

Eliza nodded, standing up straight and bringing her cup down from the air, holding it against her chest. “Yeah… great party.” She agreed. She had never been one for the party scene - she wasn’t even entirely sure why she came to this one. 

 

“Nice to get out. Finals are absolute torture, aren’t they?” He took a sip from the glass bottle of beer his was holding - for as long as she’d known him, she had known John to be a drinker. He was three years older than her - twenty one to her eighteen - and therefore legal to drink. 

 

“Torture is a strong word.” Eliza replied, standing slightly closer to him. “They’re more tiring than torturous.” She was trying to avoid being knocked into by someone in the crowd. “How do you think you did?” She asked him. 

 

John shrugged, taking another quick sip from the bottle, “As well as you would expect me to do, I suppose.” He answered as he took it away from his mouth. “I’m honestly just happy that I don’t care enough about my academics to turn into Alex. He looks miserable.” Ah, yes, Alex. Alexander Hamilton was John’s boyfriend - something Eliza had found out on accident, when entering John’s apartment unannounced one evening, only to find him half naked on the couch with the man. To say that it hadn’t made her uncomfortable would be a lie. To say that, even now, she wasn’t uncomfortable seeing the two men do anything even remotely intimate together - whether it was simply holding hands or a few words of praise - would also be a lie. 

 

“Is he at home?” Eliza asked. She figured he would be. Alexander was more likely than not exhausted from studying himself into the ground for the last month. Considering that it was the last day of finals, he was more likely than not passed out in his dorm room. 

 

John nodded his head yes in reply to Eliza’s question. “Yeah. Yeah, he’s more likely than not passed out… I wanted him to come over tonight, but I bet he’s asleep.” He said, a small frown painted on his lips. “Anyways, it’s good to see you out. You never get out.” He disrupted the momentary silence. 

 

“Well… Figured I should get out. It’s the end of my first semester of college… It deserved some sort of celebration, right?” Really, she was dying to leave the party. She didn’t want to be there anymore than Alexander had, she was certain. Parties just weren’t her thing - she was insanely uncomfortable. 

 

“Yeah… I mean, everyone is here, after all. It’s like the entire fucking school is here - hell, even people who don’t go to the college are here.” They attended UC Berkeley - it was the happening place, really, located directly across from San Francisco. To say that the entire school was there was definitely an exaggeration, but at least a hundred people were crammed into the small house. It sure felt like the entire school was there. “You know who I saw out front? Maria Lewis.” 

 

Maria Lewis? Eliza had absolutely no idea who that was, but the way that John said the name with such venom made her feel like she should. “Is she someone I should know?” Eliza asked, her eyebrows furrowed together. 

 

John shrugged his shoulders and took another sip of his drink, “She’s a bitch. You don’t associate yourself with people like her, so you wouldn’t know her, no.” 

 

“What did she do?” Eliza pressed. She was intrigued - if someone got John that riled up, they had to have done  _ something  _ notable. 

 

“What did she do? What didn’t she do, is more like it. I heard that she’s in porn.” He said. “I heard that her boyfriend left her because she sold her body to make a little extra money on the side to support her drug habit.” 

 

Porn? Drug habit? Eliza didn’t like the sound of that - sure, she lived in the hippie, drugged out central of the world, but it was only because her sister had moved that summer, much to their father's dismay. 

 

“Not to mention,” John continued, “she tried to hit on Alex. She was touching him and everything. Hands all over his chest… Disgusting!” He huffed. Eliza bit back a chuckle - it was almost cute to see John so riled up. 

 

“She most likely just didn’t know.” Eliza said. “Most people wouldn’t guess that… Well, you two...” She trailed off, not wanting to say it outloud. Saying it outloud made her uncomfortable, and was potentially dangerous for John and Alex. As tense as she was about it, they were still her friends, and she didn’t want any harm to come their way. 

 

“Still.” John had a scowl on his face that just wouldn’t go away. Eliza was tempted to track down someone with a polaroid just to capture the moment. Very rarely did he get that look on his face. 

 

“I’m sure that she isn’t as bad as all that, John. She just assumed wrongly. It’s not like you haven’t accidentally flirted with someone in a relationship, right?” She tried to reason. She always did her best to see the good in people, not the bad. Everyone had flaws - focusing on them would get you nowhere, with no friends. 

 

“She’s a bitch, Eliza. A no good, drug addicted, stone cold bitch.” John insisted. He wasn’t going to change his mind. Eliza, for a moment, wondered if she had done something more than simply touch Alex’s chest. 

 

“Alright, she’s a bitch. Alright. I understand.” She relented. “I’ll do my best not to come into contact with her. Promise.” 

 

“Good. I wouldn’t want her around you. You’re too…” Pure? Innocent? Sheltered? “Kind.” John decided, finally. “Hey… You know who else I ran into earlier?” 

  
“Who?”   
  
“John Andre.” Laurens smirked, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. Eliza flushed slightly. Andre was, to say the least, a flirt. His English accent had captivated Eliza’s heart, as well as his dashing looks. He was kind, and smart, and, really, she knew that she should go out with him - he had made it abundantly clear that he was interested, though had never actually asked her on a proper date - it was just that it didn’t feel quite right. 

 

She had spent nights up thinking about it. Why she couldn’t bring herself to give him the same interest he showed her, she hadn’t a clue. She had never been one for relationships, really - she had never even been on a date - so, perhaps, she was just nervous. She should try harder with him. 

 

“Oh. John Andre’s here? That’s wonderful.” She forced a polite smile onto her lips. 

 

“I thought that you would like to know, since you two have a thing.” 

 

“Thing? What thing?” It came out faster and harsher than she intended. “With Andre? I mean… He is cute and all, yes, but we don’t have ‘a thing’.” She took a sip of the water in her cup and smoothed out the skirt of her dress with her empty hand. John just rolled his eyes, “Sure you don’t. You’re flustered at just the mention of his name, Eliza.” He teased. 

 

“It doesn’t mean that he and I are ‘a thing’.” Did she want them to be a thing? They should be a thing. He had been nothing but nice to her, and he really was smart, and handsome, and she could stand to wake up to his accent in the morning. 

 

There was just something about it that felt  _ wrong _ . 

 

“Anyways… Tell Alexander I said hello, would you? I haven’t seen him in almost a month.” Eliza snapped herself out of her thoughts as she said that, holding her cup of water even closer to her chest, if at all possible. 

 

“Of course. I’ll tell him next time I see him, which will be… Eventually, hopefully. Now that finals are over, he  _ should  _ be able to make  _ some  _ time for me.” John said, “It was nice to see you, ‘liza. Stop by sometime soon, would ya’? Maybe we can do dinner or something.” Though John’s accent rarely slipped through, Eliza could hear it as he said that. Being from South Carolina, occasionally he had a bit of a drawl. 

 

“Soon.” She agreed, looking around the room. Where would she go after she left John? She had no other friends at the party, and her sister was at the apartment she shared with her boyfriend, John Church. Thinking about it for a moment, Eliza decided that she knew entirely too many John’s. She stood on her toes and placed a kiss on John Laurens’ cheek before walking off to go and find a corner to stand in or something of the sort - she didn’t want to keep Laurens to herself; he had many, many friends to go and talk to. 

 

She held her drink above her head once more as she made her way into the kitchen - there were less people standing around in there than there were in the living room, much to her delight. Was it too early to go home? She had gotten there an hour and a half ago, maybe. No one would notice if she left. She had no friends at the party, other than John. 

 

Just as she made the move to get out of the party was when John Andre decided to waltz into the kitchen. John had been right - he was there. He stopped Eliza in the doorway of the kitchen, leaning his forearm against the doorframe. The grin on his lips was something between predatory and genuine. 

 

“Eliza,” He greeted, voice smooth, whiskey, honey, syrup smooth, and his accent absolutely dripping from it - she adored his voice, “it’s been a while.” He said, as if she wasn’t aware.

 

“It has.” She agreed, a friendly smile on her lips. He had never been anything other than kind to her, and it wasn’t that it was him that made her uncomfortable, it was just the unspoken expectations of her that made her uncomfortable. She didn’t want to be in a relationship with him, no matter how charming he was. “How have you been, Andre?” She asked. Calling him by his last name seemed right - she knew too many John’s. 

 

“I’ve been alright.” He replied, “I’m quite sure that I would have been better if I had you to talk with everyday.” The twinkle he got in his eyes when he said that made Eliza’s heart race for reasons unbeknownst to her. Perhaps it was because she was growing more and more uncomfortable by the second. 

 

It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate his advances - she did; they were terribly humbling and sweet - it was just that she didn’t want them to go any further than where they were at. The more she talked to him, the more she felt obligated to give him something in return for wasting his time. 

 

“You flatter me.” She said, trying not to let her voice drop into a monotone. Engage, Eliza. Have a proper conversation with him. “It’s very kind of you to be so… kind.” Good going. Wonderful, Eliza. Great job speaking English. 

 

To his credit, though, John Andre didn’t laugh. He didn’t even smirk. “It’s quite easy to be so kind in the presence of such a charming woman.” He was so smooth - he had recovered the conversation in the blink of an eye, making sure Eliza didn’t make a fool of herself. “Are you glad to be done with finals?” He asked, changing the topic. 

 

Eliza was grateful that he had given her something substantial to talk about. She nodded, a look of relief adorning her features. “Very glad, yes. I’m glad to have a break.” She said, glancing down at her glass of water - it was still more than half full. She contemplated taking a sip for a moment, but then decided against it. “Yourself?”

 

“Very.” He nodded, “I only have one more set of finals to get through before I get my degree. It’s crazy how fast time goes - I swear, just yesterday I was starting here.” He took his arm off of the wall and stood up straight, letting himself inch closer to her until she could feel his breath against her skin.

 

Eliza slipped the hand not holding her cup in the pocket of her dress and took a small step back, looking up at his eyes, “It is rather alarming how fast time seems to fly, yes.” She concurred, “In fact, I seem to have forgotten how late it was. I should really be getting back.” 

 

“It’s only ten. That’s a bit early to be going home.” He opined, frowning.

 

“I know, I know, it’s just that I haven’t had a proper night of sleep since finals started. I’m rather tired, really, and I would like to go back to my dorm room to retire for the night.” She would be staying with her sister over winter break, but she would spend the weekend in her dorm. Thankfully, she would get to leave all of her belongings there.

 

Andre paused for a moment, trying to figure out if he should deter her from leaving so early or not. “Would you like me to walk you home? It’s dark.”  

 

“Oh, no thank you.” She demurred, “I’ll be perfectly fine on my own. It’s only a five minute-” Something caught her eye from the living room - she could see it from the kitchen. A girl with gorgeous dark hair was walking through towards the kitchen. She was dressed in bright red, which was what had caught Eliza’s attention. The bright red dress she adorned was shorter than Eliza had seen on a girl in public, hitting about halfway up her thigh. Her lips were decorated in the same red as her dress. Eliza let her gaze linger a few moments longer than she probably should have, snapping out of her daze as Andre stepped closer. “Walk.” She finished. 

 

“You don’t seem to be well… You look flushed.” He said, “Are you sure that you don’t want me to walk you back? It would be no bother at all, really. I should most likely start to head home myself.”

 

“No, no, I’ll be fine, I promise.” She assured. “Thank you for the offer, though. It’s very nice of you.” She gently pushed past him, entering the living room. She flashed him one last smile before attempting to exit the vicinity. 

 

It was hard, trying to make her way out of the house. There were far too many people for her liking, all of them moving in ways that made it hard for her to get around. She was bumped into by someone, sending her tumbling over herself. She regained her posture before she fell, but the contents of her cup had been spilled onto the girl in the red dress. 

 

Eliza flushed red, standing, staring at her as the girl groaned, looking down at her now soaked dress. “Great, just what I needed, another ruined dress.” She groaned. She was giving Eliza a look of death, and Eliza was genuinely fearing for her life.

 

“I- I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to.” She said, still frozen in place. She should get napkins. Napkins would help. She didn’t move. 

 

“Yeah? Well, it happened, and now another dress is ruined. Great.” The other woman was running her hands along the soaked fabric, trying to get some liquid out of the cloth. “Wait… Is this water?” She asked, looking down at Eliza. She was most likely about two inches shorter than Eliza, but the heels that she was wearing made up for those two inches and then some. 

 

“Yes.”

 

“You’re not drinking alcohol?” The other asked Eliza, face wrinkling in slight confusion. “You’re at a party.” She stated, as if it were a law that alcohol must be consumed at every party. 

 

“I’m eighteen.” Eliza shrugged, “And, besides, I’m not a fan of how it burns. I much prefer water.”

 

“I mean, whatever makes you happy, I guess.” 

 

“Water makes me very happy.” She agreed, “I’m really quite sorry about your dress. It was an accident… Can I get you some paper towels or anything to make up for it?” 

 

“No, no, it’s fine… It’s just water, after all. I’m Maria, by the way.” Said Maria. Nice to put a name to the face.

 

“Elizabeth.” Eliza replied. 

 

“Elizabeth? That’s a nice name.”

 

“Thank you. I go by Eliza.” She shifted her weight from one leg to the other, holding her mostly empty cup even closer to her chest.

 

“Well,  _ Eliza _ , I think that there is something you can do to make this up to me.” Maria took a step slightly closer so that Eliza could hear her better. The music and people were loud - they made it hard to understand her. 

 

“What’s that?” Eliza asked. She was alright with Maria stepped closer. She was alright with being closer to Maria. Maria didn’t seem intimidating. 

 

“You can get out of here with me.” She said, “Go to the diner or something. I’m  _ dying  _ for some fries right now.” 

 

It took a moment for Eliza to reply. Go to the diner? With someone she had met all of five minutes ago? She really shouldn’t. Maria didn’t seem the type to kill her, but there was always that  _ what if _ . “The diner?” She asked. 

 

“The diner.” Maria nodded, “The one on Shattuck.” 

 

“Everything is on Shattuck. There are at least three I can name on the top of my head.” 

 

“The one with the really good milkshakes.” Maria clarified. 

 

“That doesn’t help.” Eliza frowned. “Would you like me to give you money for the fries?” She asked.

 

“No, I want to get out of here with you and get some fries.” Maria said, “It’s awfully lonely, and this party is getting too loud and too cramped for my liking.” She explained. 

 

Maria didn’t seem the type to try and kill Eliza, really. Then again, Eliza had always been a poor judge of character - she only saw the good in people. If this woman was showing the signs of a murderer, how would Eliza know? Eliza had never been murdered before. She had no first hand experience with it. 

 

“Alright.” Maybe it was because Maria was a woman. Eliza was one, too, so maybe it just made her less cautious. Besides, how often were there women serial killers? Eliza would be fine. They were just going out to get some fries. 

 

Maria’s painted red lip corners turned up into a smile, and she took Eliza’s hand, leading her through the crowd. Eliza prefered to do her best to slip by unnoticed - to weave through and carefully navigate the crowd in effort not to disrupt any conversations - but Maria just went for it. She moved through the room, and people parted for her to get through. She was like Moses. Eliza wanted to be just like her - brave enough to actually walk through a room.

 

When Maria opened the door, the first thing Eliza noticed was how cold it was. If she was cold, she could only imagine what Maria was feeling with her dress absolutely soaked. Eliza hadn’t brought a jacket, which, looking back at, was a bad choice on her part. 

 

Maria stepped onto the porch, and then walked down the stair to the sidewalk. Eliza followed, somewhat hesitant of the whole situation still. It just seemed so odd to her - she had never met this girl, and yet, here they were, going to get french fries. 

 

“Are we walking there, or do you have a car?” Eliza asked, breaking the silence.    
  


“I have a car.” Maria replied. “Well, it’s a truck… But it serves the same purpose as a car, plus I can tow things… So, really, it’s superior to a car.” She told her as she walked up to the truck. It was an unusual shade of mint green, and Eliza could feel it growing on her already. Maria unlocked the passenger side door and opened it for Eliza, who thanked her and climbed in. Maria got in the driver’s seat and started it up, a small smile on her lips as she pulled out of where she had parked. The truck was deafening.

 

“How long have you had this truck?” Eliza felt like she was shouting over the roar of the engine. 

 

“Since I moved here.” Maria replied. Eliza had no idea when Maria had moved, so that didn’t help her at all. Maria could have moved there a week ago, or she could have moved ten years ago. Eliza wanted to ask, but that seemed invasive - if Maria wanted her to know, she would have just said so. They fell into a somewhat uncomfortable silence as Maria drove.

 

“Hey, think you could pull out a cigarette from the seat pocket?” She asked after what seemed like an eternity, finally breaking the silence. Eliza nodded and fished for the box, pulling it out after a moment. She, herself, had never been one for smoking, and when other people did it near her, it made her cough, but this was Maria’s truck, so she didn’t have much room to say no. She tried to hand Maria the carton, but Maria shook her head.

 

“No, no, light it for me. I can’t light it while I’m driving.” She said. 

 

Oh. That was a good point. “Do you have a lighter?” Eliza asked. 

 

“Should be in the same pocket that the cigarettes were in.” 

 

Eliza, once again, felt her way through the pocket of the truck. From what she could tell, what was mostly in there was loose pocket change. It took her a minute to find the lighter. She pulled it out and lit up a cigarette, trying to hand it to Maria. Maria shook her head again and leaned slightly toward Eliza.

 

“Put it between my lips.”   
  


Really, that seemed far more complicated than just taking the goddamn cigarette. It was lit, it was ready - it was much harder for Maria to drive when she was practically hanging over Eliza’s lap, she was sure. Still, she didn’t have room to argue. Eliza had never driven - maybe it was easier for her to put the cancer stick between her lips. She pushed the butt of the cigarette into Maria’s mouth, and Maria sat back up straight. She brought one hand up to her face and removed the cigarette after a moment to exhale the smoke, and then parked the truck in front of the diner. 

 

“You smoke? You’re welcome to have one.” Maria said.

 

“Not really, no, but thank you for the offer, anyway.” Eliza got out of the truck, and Maria did the same. What had Eliza gotten herself into? She was out with a girl who drove a truck, smoked, and liked french fries. Hopefully she wasn’t a serial killer.

 

Did serial killers like french fries?

 

Eliza opened the door to the diner, holding it open for Maria, who, in turn, smiled and walked through. No one was in the diner - there was one person behind the counter, with hair dyed a shade of orange that aged her ten years. She was in a uniform, and looked about ready to give up on life. 

 

How late did this diner even stay open?

 

Maria walked up to the counter, looking at the menu hanging above the kitchen. She stood there and stared for a moment before turning to Eliza, “Do you know what you want?” She asked.

 

Eliza shook her head. She thought that they were just getting fries. “No.” 

 

“Well… That’s the menu. Pick out whatever.” 

 

Eliza looked up at the menu, and then looked at Maria, “Okay. I’ve got it.” She said, voice soft. It felt nice not to have to yell just to talk to someone. 

 

“Alright. Well, I’ll have a large order of the fries, and a chocolate milkshake, please.” Maria told the lady behind the counter, who nodded. She didn’t write it down - she didn’t need to write it down; there was no one else there. 

 

“And… A small order of the fries-” 

 

“No, don’t get fries. I’m getting fries. Their large orders are, well, large, so you can have some of mine.” Maria interrupted. Eliza was tempted to shoot her a glare and tell her that interrupting wasn’t nice, but she did just save Eliza from getting an order of fries she didn’t need, so she would let it slide.

 

“Alright. Then, may I please have a vanilla milkshake?” Eliza asked the woman. The lady nodded, “‘Course. I’ll bring the food out when it’s done.” She said. “That’ll be seventy six cents.” 

 

Eliza nodded and pulled out her coin purse - she assumed that she would be paying to make up for spilling water all over Maria, but Maria shook her head once more, just as she had when Eliza had tried handing her a cigarette. She pulled change out from the pockets in her dress - loose change, since those pockets were far too small to hold a wallet of any sort - and handed it over to the lady behind the counter, who took it. She took three quarters and a penny, and handed the rest back, which Maria put in the jar - it was only twelve cents. 

 

Eliza watched the entire exchange silently, not entirely sure what to do. She put her coin purse back in the pocket of her dress, and then followed Maria over to the booth in the corner. “Thank you.” Eliza said as they sat down, “For paying, I mean. You really should have let me pay - I’m the one who spilled water all over you, after all.” 

 

“Yes, but I’m the one who told you to come out for fries with me. It’s only fair that I pay.” She reasoned. 

 

“But I-”

 

“Hush. Just say thank you and enjoy the food when it comes out.” Maria cut her off. Eliza, once again, kept her mouth shut, though she  _ was  _ inclined to lecture Maria on how rude it was to cut someone off. 

 

“Okay.” She whispered, “Thank you.” She folded her hands in her lap and looked out of the window. There was no one driving down the road, and the lights from the building across the way were the only thing that made the street look alive. Berkeley was a college town - it made sense that no one was out on the streets, with finals having just ended. Everyone was either in bed or at a party like the one that she and Maria had just come from. 

 

“So, you’re a queer?” It wasn’t a question so much as it was a statement, really. It took Eliza by shock. It was an entire minute before she replied. 

 

“E-excuse me?” The look of astonishment was still on her face. Did the girl just ask if she was a queer? 

 

“You queer?” Maria asked again. She was keeping her voice low, and, though Eliza had never bought drugs, she could imagine that this was very similar to what that would be like.

 

“And what if I am?” It was something that she couldn’t believe she was saying. She wasn’t a queer, she knew that much. She wasn’t a queer. Why was she sitting there, asking a hypothetical question that could get her in so much trouble? 

 

“If you are, then I would say that this is a pretty good first date, don’t you think?” She smirked. 

 

“What?” 

 

“If you are, then I would say-”

 

“No, no, I heard you,” It was Eliza’s turn to interrupt, apparently, “I meant… What do you mean? This isn’t- I’m not-” 

 

“I’ve bought you fries and a milkshake. Pretty good first date, if you ask me.” 

 

How was Maria being so casual about this? It wasn’t like you could just be  _ queer _ . Eliza could get her in serious trouble. What if Eliza reported it to the police? What if Eliza started telling people that Maria - she didn’t know her last name, but she could describe her well enough that that wouldn’t be a problem - was a fag? “I’m not-”

 

“You’re not queer, yet I saw how you looked at me. Come on, you can’t even deny it - you think I’m hot.” She was still keeping her voice down, though the only person who was in there with them was the lady cooking their food. She doubted that she could hear over the racket of the fries.

 

“I- no. I’m not a queer.” She insisted. “You’re being very rude right now, and very immature. I could get you in serious trouble for this.” She whispered.

 

“But you won’t.”

 

“What makes you so sure?” She asked. 

 

“Like I said, I saw how you were looking at me.” Maria replied, a smirk on her lips. She was so arrogant. Eliza wanted to kiss that cocky smirk off of her lips. 

 

Oh, shit. 

 

It was only because Maria had her thinking about it. It was only because Maria had put the stupid thought in her head. Eliza wasn’t queer, she was being pressured into having wicked thoughts, and she should just leave.

 

Why didn’t she just leave? 

 

She could just leave, yet here she was, sitting across the booth from Maria still. She was making no moves to leave. She would lose nothing if she left - she was still within walking distance of her dorm.

 

She should leave.

 

Why wasn’t she leaving? 

 

Maria took another drag of the cigarette that was still hanging from her mouth, exhaling the smoke expertly. “You know, last time someone gave me those eyes, I didn’t go home alone.” She said, cigarette between her fingers now.

 

“You’ll be going home alone tonight.” Eliza insisted. “I’m not a queer.” She whispered. Her voice was shaky and unsure. It should have been solid. There should be no hint of doubt in her voice as she said that. “I’m not a queer.” She repeated. 

 

She wasn’t a huge fan of boys, growing up. She had never been interested in relationships. She boiled it down to being a tomboy and independant her whole life, but now that she was really looking at it…

 

Did she not want a relationship, or did she not want a relationship with a boy? 

 

No, she liked boys. She had to like boys. She had had a crush on Alexander earlier in the year. Albeit, he was somewhere on the more feminine side of masculinity, but he was still a man. Entirely a man. She liked men, not women, and therefore, was not queer. 

 

Yet, she was thinking of the woman in front of her in a way that she had yet to think of any man.

 

It was only because Maria put the image in her head, she decided. 

 

She was not queer. 

 

As she finished her mini existential crisis and self evaluation, the lady brought the two of them out their milkshakes and the order of fries. Wow. It really was a big order of fries. Eliza thanked the lady once more, and Maria did the same, waiting for the lady to leave before she picked a fry up.

 

She looked straight at Eliza, fry in hand, and dipped it into her chocolate shake before eating it.

 

“You do that, too?” Eliza asked, a pleasant smile on her face replacing the look of dread that had been there just moments before.

 

Maria grinned and nodded, taking another fry and doing the same thing, “Mhm. I dip my fries in my shakes. Always have.” She said.

 

“They’re just better that way.” Eliza and Maria said at the same time. Eliza flushed, taking a fry for herself as she tried to suppress a giggle.

 

She wasn’t a queer. The flutter in her chest as they jinxed was of embarrassment. She was not a queer. She dipped her fry in her vanilla milkshake and ate it, the smile staying on her lips. Maria liked dipping her fries in her milkshakes, too. Maria liked things that she liked, and that felt good. 

 

“So, are you from here?” Maria asked as she took another fry. “I mean, born here and all that?”

 

“No.” Eliza answered, “I’m from New York. I was born and raised in Albany, but I moved out here because my older sister came out here this summer to be with the hippies.” She told her. “Our father was less than pleased, you could say… Are you from here?” She asked. 

 

Maria shook her head. “I’m from New York, too. I came out to LA to be an actress, but… Well, that didn’t go out as I planned.” She didn’t want to say much more. Not when she had just met Eliza.

 

“Oh. That’s a shame. I would love to see you in the films. You would be a valuable asset to any cast.” Eliza took a handful of fries, dipping one in her shake and taking a bite of it. “Why are you up north, then?” 

 

“Same reason as your sister, I guess.” She responded. “I came out here this summer to be with the movement. It was nice… I was here when they burned the draft cards in May, and after that, I just decided to stay.” 

 

“I was there when they burned the draft cards in New York last year.” Eliza said, “It’s scary, the war. I can’t believe it’s going on… I can’t believe that we’re allowing it to go on, it’s so wrong.” 

 

“No one is allowing anything. You’ve seen the protests. You’ve seen the peaceful marches, you’ve seen the riots - the general public isn’t ‘allowing’ anything.” Maria took sip of her shake. She had taken part in many of the protests - it was one of the great things about living in the area that they did. 

 

“I’m just… I’m happy that my sisters are girls. I’m happy that I’m a girl. I’m happy that I’m safe from the draft. I wish everyone could be safe from the draft.” Eliza sighed, “It isn’t fair. It isn’t right. That has to go against the constitution, doesn’t it? There should be something that says, ‘we cannot force someone into military service’. It’s just immoral.” She said. 

 

Maria just shrugged, “Sure, it’s immoral, but nowhere is that written. All we are is sheep, and the government uses us when it needs us. They don’t care about our wellbeing, they care about money, and war is profitable, so here we are.” 

 

Eliza stayed silent, eating another fry from the handful that she had grabbed. She didn’t want to talk about the war. She went to the most liberal school in the country, all anyone ever talked about was the war. She was enjoying her fries and the company, it didn’t need to be tainted with the violence and injustice.

 

“So… You’re not a student, then?” Eliza asked after a few minutes.

 

Maria shook her head, “Are you kidding me? I’m not smart enough to get into there.” She chuckled. “You’re a student, right?” She asked. 

 

Eliza nodded, “Yeah. I’m going to be a nurse.” She said. “Or, maybe a doctor. I’m not too sure… Possibly an author. I just haven’t decided yet. There are so many things that I could be. It’s stressful… What do you do for work?” 

 

“I’m a waitress in a cocktail bar in San Francisco.” She disclosed. “Although, I… I do art. I paint. Draw. Sometimes I make money from it.” 

 

“Really?” Eliza was in awe - she had always wanted to be an artist when she was growing up, but her art just wasn’t good enough for that. “That sounds exciting. More exciting than studying.”

 

“It’s… Tiring.” Maria decided, after a moment of thinking on a good word. “I would love to devote myself fully to painting, but I’m unknown in the art world. No one will pay me enough to have me make anything for them, and it’s difficult to sell what I’ve done. I have no name. People buy art for the name, a lot of the time.” 

 

“Well, I’m sure you’ll get your big break.” Eliza told her. “I’m sure your art is wonderful. I would love to see it sometime.” 

 

“You’re saying you want to see me again?” Maria asked with a smug smile plastered on her face. “And I thought you said you weren’t queer.” Her voice dropped down to a whispered once again. As stupid as Maria was for bringing it up in public, and for asking someone she knew nothing of, she wasn’t stupid enough to say it loud enough for the woman behind the counter to hear. 

 

“I’m not.” Eliza maintained. “I’m not.”

 

“But you want to see me again?”

 

“As a friend. You’re… An interesting person, is all.” Eliza contended. She was not queer. She was simply interested in learning more about Maria. “I mean, you ask me to get fries with you within a minute of knowing you, after I, very rudely, spilled water all over you. What were you thinking? I could be a murderer. Why would you ask someone who could be a potential murderer out to get fries with you?” 

 

“I could be a murderer, too, but you came out with me.” Maria shrugged, “I know you aren’t a murderer for the same reason you know that I’m not one.” 

 

“ I don’t know you’re not a murderer.” 

 

“If you genuinely thought that there was some way for me to be a murderer, you wouldn’t be sitting across from me.” She shot back. 

 

“Yes, but I don’t know for certain that you aren’t going to murder me.” Eliza took another bite of her fry after dipping it back in her milkshake, “When we leave, you could drive into a dark alley and kill me.” 

 

“But I won’t.” 

 

“Why not?” 

 

“Because you’re cute.” Maria toned her voice down again so that only they could hear.

 

“Oh.” Eliza glanced out the window once again, “I thought you were going to say it was because you were a good person and don’t actively murder people. That would have been more comforting.” 

 

“I can’t lie to a pretty girl.” Maria joked. The tone of her voice was so silly that Eliza knew she couldn’t possibly be serious. Eliza flushed slightly and allowed herself to giggle. Their conversation was just so easy - so natural. She wasn't trying. There were no expectations. There was nothing that she felt like she couldn’t say, and nothing that she felt like she had to say. It was just… easy, talking to Maria. It felt right. Like she had known her for years, and they were just old friends catching up. 

 

“Why did you ask me to get fries with you?” Eliza asked, after a brief pause. 

 

“You spilled water on me. I thought that a suitable punishment would be making you spend some time with me… Like I said when I asked you, it’s lonely, I wanted fries, and, well, you’re cute.” She was still speaking in a quiet voice. She still didn’t want to risk getting kicked out of the diner, or worse. 

 

“You know… That dress is really short.” Eliza mumbled. “I saw you when I was standing in the kitchen… Your dress is really short.” There wasn’t anything bad about it - she quite liked the dress, actually. 

 

“You saw me when you were standing in the kitchen?” Maria asked. “I saw you, too. Talking to that guy, right? You looked… Uncomfortable, to say the least.” 

 

“No, not- I wasn’t  _ uncomfortable _ . He’s a nice guy.” Eliza said. “He’s a nice guy.” She repeated. “He just… Is interested in me, and I’m afraid I don’t feel quite the same way towards him. He’s a lovely man - his voice is beautiful, he’s beautiful, he’s smart, he’s kind, he’s charming… He just… He doesn’t feel  _ right,  _ is all.” 

 

“And you still say you’re not queer?” 

 

“I’m not queer.” She asserted. It came out louder than she meant it to. “I’m not queer.” She repeated, quietly. 

 

“But the first thing you noticed about me was the length of my dress?” 

 

“No, it was your lips.” Eliza wasn’t helping her case at all. The first thing she noticed about a girl was her lips. “I- I mean… They’re bright red. I just… I noticed them, is all.” She flushed. “And your dress is quite pretty, by the way.” She said, in a last ditch attempt to make the situation better. Eliza wasn’t queer.

 

“Thank you. I made it myself.” Maria hummed, smoothing the fabric out with her hands. “It would look better if it were on the floor at my place, I think.” She teased. 

 

Eliza turned a shade that very closely resembled the colour of the dress. “You can’t just say things like that!” She hissed, “We’re in public, and it’s- it’s just so  _ wrong _ .” 

 

“What’s wrong about it?” Maria asked as she took another fry. They were almost out of fries. Eliza glanced at the basket of potato sticks, hoping that they could still continue their conversation after they ran out. She didn’t want to go. Not yet. 

 

“Everything. It’s an innuendo. I don’t think that it’s really appropriate.” 

 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. It’s your mind that went there. I simply said that it would look better on the floor. You’re the one who’s making it inappropriate.” Maria was playing with Eliza’s mind in ways that Eliza didn’t like. 

 

“Stop it.” Eliza frowned.

 

“Stop what?” 

 

“All of… that.” 

 

“You’re going to have to be more specific than that.” Maria chimed. 

 

“Just… All of it. Stop. Stop making me think things, and then making me think that I’m the one thinking those things and you’re not the one putting those thoughts in my head.” Eliza heaved. 

 

“You are the one thinking those things. I’m just… aiding you along.” 

  
“I don’t want to be aided along. I’m not… queer.” Whenever Eliza said queer, she did it in such a way that made it seem as if she were talking about plans for nuclear weapons. Like it was some big secret that no one else knew about.

 

It was. It had to be a secret. She wasn’t queer - she couldn’t be queer - but even talking about it could give someone the wrong impression. She didn’t want to be punished for being something she wasn’t. She wouldn’t want to be punished for it even if she were queer. 

 

Maria picked her still lit cigarette up from the ashtray where she had put it and took one more drag before putting the butt out. “There’s nothing wrong with it, you know.”

 

“With what?” 

 

“Being queer. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s society that has a problem with it, not something that’s inherently problematic. It doesn’t affect anyone other than the people being queer together, and, even then, all it does is serve to make them happy.” Maria shrugged her shoulders as she spoke so matter-of-factly. 

 

“It makes people uncomfortable.” Eliza mumbled. 

 

“Watching people who aren’t homosexuals kiss and be cute makes me uncomfortable, too, but you don’t see me trying to play god and condemn them for my own feelings towards them.” Maria argued. 

 

“But most people don’t have a problem with that… Most people have a problem with… with homosexuals.” Eliza was still being quiet. This wasn’t a conversation that she wanted to be overheard. 

 

“They wouldn’t have a problem if it wasn’t taught to be so taboo. You know, in ancient Rome, it was normal. I bet they didn’t feel like people today feel when they saw it.” 

 

“Yes, homosexuality between an old man and a young boy. That’s hardly right. That’s worse than just being queer, that’s being a pedophile.” Eliza retorted. She shook her head, “Anyway, I don’t see why it matters, because I’m not queer.” 

 

“Alright. If you insist.” Maria succumbed. 

 

“I do. I’m not queer.” She took another french fry and dipped it into what was remaining of her drink, taking a bite of it. “I just… am not the most comfortable with men, is all. That doesn’t make me queer. I was quite fond of this one boy earlier in the year.” 

 

Maria took the last fry, dipping it in her shake. “Of course, of course.” She affirmed before eating the fry. They were done. She stood up, looking down at Eliza, “Would you like me to take you back to wherever you’re staying?” She asked. Eliza nodded. She stood up herself, almost sad to be done. 

 

How was she supposed to tell Maria that she wanted to see her again without making it a queer thing? 

 

She stepped out of the booth, making sure that she had her change purse, and then picked up their tray. She stacked their empty milkshake glasses on it, as well as the basket that once contained fries, and then went to put the tray over on top of the garbage, where it asked them to set their mess. She then looked back at Maria, who was waiting at the door for her, and joined. Maria held the door open for her. She thanked her and walked out, heading towards the truck. 

 

Maria, once again, unlocked the truck for her when they arrived to it. She helped Eliza in before getting in herself, looking over at the other girl. She didn’t start the truck yet, not wanting to yell over the noise from the motor. “Have you ever driven over the Golden Gate at night?” She asked. 

 

“Don’t be ridiculous. Why would I ever drive over the Golden Gate? If I need to get into the city, I just take the Bay Bridge? It’s so much quicker.” Eliza pointed out. 

 

“So you’ve never driven over the Golden Gate?” Maria asked. 

 

Eliza shook her head - she had not been over the Golden Gate Bridge. 

 

“You’ve lived here for how long?” Maria inquired.

 

“Since August.” Eliza answered. 

 

“It’s unacceptable, then. You need to go over it - you’re a local now. Sort of… Do you want to go drive over the Golden Gate tonight?” She prodded. 

 

“I…” What did she have to lose? She liked Maria, so far. She enjoyed spending time with her. She wasn’t ready for the night to end yet. “Alright. Why not?” 

 

Maria beamed at he answer, and Eliza felt the joy that was radiating off of her make a smile appear on her own lips. She started the truck and started to drive, and Eliza rolled down the window, letting her hair fly in her face as Maria picked up speed. 

 

It would certainly be a memorable night. 

 

Eliza looked over at Maria, who was focused intently on the road. It was cute, really, the expression on her face as she stared at the road. Eliza watched her, her hair continuing to fly around the cab.

 

With the lack of traffic, it didn’t take long at all to get through Richmond, and then over the Richmond bridge. They were through Marin and Sausalito in no time. The pair remained quiet, Maria too busy driving, and Eliza too busy looking out at the bay. It was gorgeous, really. The water in the bay area was much browner than it was in New York, and much colder, as well. It was nice - it was never humid or muggy, despite all of the fog. Forget anyone who said that California was warm - San Francisco wasn’t. It wasn’t cold, per say, but it stayed about sixty degrees, and generally rather overcast. Eliza enjoyed the weather. It was comfortable - she could layer up and feel snug.

 

Right before they reached the tunnel, Maria pulled over. She killed the engine and looked over at Eliza, a pleasant smile playing on her lips.

 

“Is this where you’re going to kill me?” Eliza asked, half jokingly. She really hoped that Maria wasn’t about to kill her.

 

To that, Maria replied with a giggle. “No, silly. Get in the back of the truck.” She instructed, “You’ll feel so much more free than if you’re in the cab, and the view will be better… I want to make your first time over the Golden Gate memorable for you.” 

 

Eliza couldn’t help but be touched. Maria pulled over just for her? Just so that she could sit in the back of the truck when they drove across the bridge? It was thoughtful, really. Maria was thinking about her. “Alright… Just don’t flip the truck.” She jested, getting out of the cab. As she stepped out, the rich sea air seemed to flow through her nostrils and permeated her entire body. She closed the door and then climbed in the back, looking up at the stars. It was such a pretty night. The weather, despite it being December, was pleasant - a bit chilly, but not uncomfortably so; that would change when the wind started blowing on her in the back of the truck, of course, but Eliza didn’t mind.

 

Eliza sat herself in the bed so that only her head and the tops of her shoulders would be exposed to the wind. “Ready!” Eliza called up to Maria - at least, she hoped that Maria could hear her from the cab. Maria had rolled the window down when Eliza had hopped in the back. 

 

She must have been able to hear, because once Eliza gave her the go ahead, the truck started back up, and they were driving closer and closer to the bridge. Eliza was sitting backwards in the bed, watching everything get left behind as they went through the rainbow tunnel. 

 

The lights in the tunnel were a dim yellow - warm, very warm - and Eliza relaxed as they drove through it. It was quieter in the tunnel. She held her breath as they went through, only letting it go when they were out of the tunnel. She wondered, for a moment, if Maria had done the same. 

 

As soon as they exited the tunnel, Eliza looked over the driver’s side of the bed and immediately spotted the bridge. It was beautiful. She could see it from Berkeley so long as it was a somewhat clear day, but it didn’t compare to seeing the lit up bridge in front of her. 

 

She could understand, now, why people marveled over it.

 

It was absolutely massive, and glowing in the night air made it seem all the more enchanting. She looked up at the sky briefly as they drove onto the beginning of the bridge. The water underneath them was dark - of course it was, it was night - but Eliza could still see some ripples in it. Her hair was everywhere. It was entirely in her face. She should have tied it back before she left for the party. Then again, how was she to know that she would end up in the back of a stranger’s truck, driving across the bridge? 

 

Everything was going so fast - both literally and metaphorically. They were driving about sixty miles an hour, and the scenery was flying by. Here Eliza was, moving fast with a stranger. She didn’t even know Maria’s last name, and yet, they already seemed to be developing some sort of friendship. She had, after all, let Maria steal her away not only for fries, but to drive across a bridge. 

 

It was a miracle that Eliza hadn’t been killed yet. Maria could very easily be a serial killer. How was Eliza to know what Maria did? 

 

She looked up at the stars - they were beautiful. It was a clear night, and there were billions upon billions of them littering the sky. The light pollution from the city across the bridge blocked a few of them out, but there were still enough to heavily freckle the sky. Looking up at the sky, with her hair getting matted as it blew in the wind, and the cold air on her face, she felt free. Free as a bird. Freer than a bird, even - not even the sky could constrain her. Not tonight. 

 

They slowed down to a stop in front of the toll booth. There was one car in front their truck that they waited for for a few moments, and then it was their turn. Maria handed over the twenty five cents required to grant access to the rest of the bridge, and then they were back to sixty miles an hour. Eliza’s hair continued to whip around her face, blowing in all directions as they drove. 

 

The bridge wasn’t much longer, after the toll booth. Maria stopped once they got off of it and pulled over. Eliza got back in the cab and closed the door, rolling the window up - she was chilled to the bone from the wind in the back. She looked over at Maria, a simple look of contentment spread across her features. “That was nice.” She said quietly. Maria started the truck back up and began to drive once more. “That was nice… Thank you. Thank you for that. It wasn’t… Life changing… but I needed to do that.” Eliza was speaking louder to accommodate the  rumble of the truck. 

 

Maria glanced over at her, taking the hand that was on the shift stick off of it and, instead, resting it on the top of Eliza’s hand. She looked back at the road, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “You’re welcome.” 

  
Eliza had butterflies in her heart. Her stomach? Somewhere in that general area. She felt like she was about to throw up - like there was a knot in her stomach that was tightly tied and not going to leave soon - but also as if she was about to fly. She couldn’t feel her torso area, to put it simply. It had just disappeared. It was numb, but at the same time, tingly, and also tight, and it may or may not have been making the rest of her body feel slightly warm. 

 

“Do you mind if we stop at my apartment?” Maria asked as they entered the city, “I live in the Outer Sunset. I just need to grab something.” She told Eliza. They were maybe ten minutes away. Eliza shook her head, “It’s no problem, no. So long as you promise not to murder me.” Ah, they were back to murder. 

 

Maria laughed and shook her head a bit, “No, no. No murder. Not today. Especially not in my apartment! I would have to clean up the mess after, plus it just makes it  _ so  _ obvious.” She joked. 

 

Eliza rolled her eyes fondly as they sank back into a comfortable silence. It was nice, being near Maria. Maria made her feel comfortable. Content. As if there wasn’t a problem in the world. She, somehow, simultaneously made her feel nervous, and perhaps a bit like she was in a dream - a good dream or a bad dream, she wasn’t sure yet. While the fear of being murdered was a legitimate one, Maria made such light of it, and made Eliza laugh, and feel warm enough inside that she couldn’t bring herself to focus on that part - not seriously, at the very least. 

 

It wasn’t very long before they were pulling up in front of a shabby looking apartment building. The outside of it had a pinkish colour of paint that looked quite weathered, and there was a broken window covered by a sheet on the top floor. It wasn’t very tall - perhaps three stories high - but the building was long and wide. 

 

“How many people live here?” Eliza heard herself ask as she got out of the truck. Maria shrugged, “Including me? Maybe… I don’t know. I think there are twenty apartments, but some of the people who live here have families or roommates.” She answered. Eliza just nodded, following Maria in. Maria walked up to the stairs, holding the door open for Eliza, who entered and thanked her for holding the door. “I’m on the second floor.” Maria informed as she and Eliza started to climb the stairs. 

 

“You live alone, then?” Eliza asked, about halfway up the stairs. 

 

Maria nodded, “Yeah. Just me. I’ve lived alone for… Since April, when my boyfriend and I broke up.” Her boyfriend had not been a very nice man at all. Maria wasn’t too keen on talking about him, and Eliza could tell from the way that she seemed to tense up.

 

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” She frowned as Maria opened the door to the second floor. Eliza walked through it and waited in the hall as Maria opened up her door. It was a hole in the wall, really. It was a one bedroom apartment with a living room and kitchen combined, barely big enough for one person to stand in. Eliza couldn’t imagine how families fit in there. It was possible that Maria had taken an exceptionally small apartment and that there were bigger ones in the complex. 

 

“Don’t be. He was a jerk… I don’t like guys, anyway. Not really. He was just… I don’t know. Me running away from myself, I guess.” Maria had entered the living room of the apartment, which was what was directly connected to the door, and took her shoes off. The carpeting was spotted and disgusting, but Eliza figured that if Maria had taken her shoes off, she should, too. 

 

Without her heels, Maria was about two inches shorter than Eliza, though a little bit bigger in stature - her shoulders were broaders than Eliza’s, her hips wider, and her breasts plumper. Eliza stayed near the door, watching Maria as she picked up a blanket from the couch, folding it and draping it over the back.

 

“You didn’t have to take your shoes off, y’know? The carpet’s already ruined.” She remarked, a fond, lazy smile across her face. 

 

“Oh. I didn’t- I just thought that you took them off to not make a mess.” Eliza said.

 

“No, I took them off because my feet are  _ killing  _ me. Heels are uncomfortable.” Maria walked into the kitchen, opening a cupboard. Eliza glanced into the kitchen - there were no dishes in the sink, no mess on the counter. Maria seemed to be a tidy person. Were tidy people the types of people to kill you? “You know, you say ‘oh’ a lot.” Maria pointed out. 

 

“Oh. I never noticed.”

 

“You just did it again.” 

 

“Oh.”

 

“You’re doing it on purpose now!” Maria accused fondly as she took a glass down from the cabinet, “Would you like some water? Make yourself at home, by the way. You can sit on the couch - it’s old, but it’s comfortable.” She said. 

 

“Oh. Alright. Thank you.” Eliza smirked, walking over to the couch. She sat on it, “And, yes please to the water. That would be nice, thank you.” 

 

“You get no water until you stop saying ‘oh’.” Maria filled up the two glasses with water and then closed the cupboard, walking over to the couch. She sat down next to Eliza, keeping the glass. 

 

“Alright. I’ll stop saying ‘oh’.” 

 

“Promise?”   
  
Eliza nodded. Maria handed her the glass of water, which she gratefully took a sip of. “You know, I’m so easy to kill. Here I am, in your apartment - you’re someone I met all of two hours ago - and I’m drinking water that you gave me, which you could have just poisoned. There would be no mess to clean up, you could just throw my dead corpse out the window.” 

 

Maria sat there in silence for a moment, not entirely sure how to respond to that. “Wow.” She decided was an appropriate response. “You… Uh… You thought about that a lot, didn’t you? I’m… kind of concerned how much you thought out me murdering you.” 

 

“I’ve been thinking about it since you asked me to get fries.” Eliza said, “And I’ve been thinking about how stupid everything I’m doing is. None of this is safe. I’m probably going to end up dead by the end of the night. I don’t even know your last name.” 

 

“Lewis.” 

 

“Excuse me?” 

 

“Lewis. My name is Maria Lewis.” Maria said. 

 

“Oh… Well, now I know your last name.” Eliza shrugged, “Still, it doesn’t mean that you won’t kill me… And it also doesn’t mean that you aren’t giving me a fake last name so you can murder me… Although, I’m not entirely sure why you would give me a fake last name, because it isn’t like I can tell anyone, since I would already be dead.” 

 

“You’re overthinking things.” She took a sip of her water, the smile on her face never leaving. Eliza was just such a dork. It was a little bit adorable. 

 

“Well, how am I supposed to not get murdered if I don’t overthink things?” 

 

“Maybe by not hanging out with murderers… I’m not going to kill you.” Maria assured. 

 

“I hope not.” Eliza leaned her weight against the arm of the couch and took a sip of her water once again, “That would be unfortunate, if you did. I think that my friend John knows who you are.” 

 

“John what?” 

 

“Laurens. John Laurens. I think I can tell you this, because you’re queer, too, but he’s mad that you were flirting with his boyfriend.” Eliza told her.

 

“Boyfriend?” 

 

“Boyfriend… Don’t tell anyone I told you, alright? They’re… They’re really special to me, and I would hate to see anything happen to them… Don’t tell anyone.” Eliza murmured. She knew it was a bad idea to tell her friends deepest secrets to a stranger, but Maria had confided in her about being queer, too. She was sure that Maria wouldn’t go off and tell anyone. Right? Eliza had enough dirt on Maria’s back to blackmail her into silence, if it came to that. 

 

“I won’t tell anyone.” Maria promised. “And… You won’t tell anyone that I’m… y’know. That I like girls. You won’t tell anyone, right? Not even them.”

 

“Why can’t I tell them?” Eliza questioned, “They’re my best friends. They’re homosexuals, also, so they should be able to sympathise with you.” 

 

“I just… Please, don’t tell anyone.”

 

“You were so open about it with me. You seemed so fearless. Why-” 

 

“You’re different.” Maria cut off. “You’re… Different. I don’t know why, but you are… Look, I don’t take girls out for fries and then bring them back to my apartment very often.” She sighed. “I just… I was hoping that you would be queer.” 

 

“I’m not queer.”

 

“You’ve made that abundantly clear.”

 

“It was stupid of you to be so open about it. I could get you in more trouble than you know right now.” Eliza whispered. “Why did you trust me? You don’t know me.”

 

“Like I said, you’re different. I don’t know what’s different about you, but I was just sure that I could trust you. I was sure that you were like me.” Eliza had grown silent as she listened to Maria, just nodding along to show her that she understood. 

 

“Alright. I won’t tell anyone.” She said, after a minute or two of heavy silence. How could she tell anyone? How could she live with it weighing down her conscious? She couldn’t. She couldn’t do that to Maria. Maria had been so kind.

 

The two sat in silence once again. Maria shifted uncomfortably, waiting for Eliza to say something else. When it became clear that she wouldn’t, Maria cleared her throat. “Would… Would you like me to put on an album? Or, maybe I could take you home. I should take you home.” 

 

“An album would be lovely.” Eliza rested her hand on Maria’s, just as Maria had done to her in the truck. Maria looked down at their hands and gave her a small nod. “I have quite the extensive record collection… If you would like to pick one out. They’re in the cabinet under the record player.” She said softly. 

 

Eliza stood, letting go of her hand, and walked over to where the record player was. She opened up the cabinet and sat on the floor, shuffling through the records until she found one that she wanted. She took it out of the sleeve and put it on the turntable, putting the needle at the very beginning. She smiled as Frank Sinatra filled the room. The warm music felt lovely against her ears.

 

“I didn’t know I had a Sinatra album… You like Sinatra? Who are you, my mother?” Maria asked. Eliza rolled her eyes but nodded, “He’s my favourite… And this is my favourite song.” She smiled. Maria looked up at her, moving her head to the melody, “Fly Me to the Moon… Right. I’ve heard this on the radio a few times.” She said, standing up. She walked over to Eliza, taking her hand once again.

 

“In other words, hold my hand. In other words, baby, kiss me.” Maria sang, barely above a whisper. She let the hand not holding Eliza’s trail down and rest gently on her hip, swaying slightly to the music. 

 

Eliza didn’t stop her.

 

Eliza should have stopped her. 

 

She leaned her forehead against Maria’s as Maria continued to quietly sing the lyrics, holding Eliza’s body even closer against hers. Eliza closed her eyes, letting Maria lead them to the music. “In other words, please be true. In other words, I love you… Fill my heart with song, let me sing forevermore… You are all I long for, all I worship and adore…” 

 

Eliza could feel her heartbeat faster. She could hear the thud of it in her ears. Thud, thud. Thud, thud. It was so fast. Should she be concerned? Was she about to have a heart attack? She opened one eye slightly, only to see that Maria had hers closed. 

 

“In other words, please be true. In other words… in other words… I love you.” 

 

And with that, Maria was kissing her, and her lips were soft, and for once- for once, Eliza considered, just for a moment, that she might be queer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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lol i need to edit this only posting to give the link to someone lmao pls dont read this yet


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